don’t really mind, i live in somewhere else in this earth, you
don’t have to know, it’s not important.
so there’s my story.
when i was a child, i was the child that laughed, and smiled
often, barely even cried, all the people told my mother that i’m
very good girl and my mother was always be proud of me, my
childhood was awesome, i guess.
then, things changed, i was no longer a kid anymore, i finally
needed to go to primary school, to be honest, i was nervous as
fuck, i still remember the first day when i went to school, i
cried, i was so afraid of all the new people, new kids, and no
parents, no friends there. and apparently my schoolmates
weren’t some kind or friendly kids that would comfort me,
instead, they started calling me names, and not making friends
with me, yes, i got bullied, shit happened. they’ve beaten the
shit outta me, and they’ve insulted my family, they made me
believe that i deserve nothing but pain, and i was only a loner,
in the 6 years of my primary school, i had no friend, not even
one or half, i had no one to talk to, and i had no one complain
to, and you must be asking, why don’t you tell your parents or
teachers? trust me, i did once, i told my parents that someone
bullied me at school, and they told my class teacher, and all my
class teacher only said was “they are only kids, they’re just
playing around, no offend thought.“ and by the time, i knew i
can’t except the teachers to help, the only person who could
ever help was myself, and there was how a 7 years old girl
learnt how to stay strong.
oh you think my story is ending here? no way.
finally, time passed by, i entered in my middle school, LMFAO i
had the worst time there in the first 3 years. i was excepting a
new school life and no one would ever bully me again, and
BOOM, i was wrong, my bullies, they went to the same middle
school with me, and BOOM, they even went to the same class
with me. let me tell you something, bullies are mostly the
famous kids at school, and when the famous kids bully you,
everyone is gonna bully you to impress them,
was even rougher than the time when you were in primary
school, cause those assholes grew up and they had thought
more cruel shits to bully you, insult you, and make you
feel worthless. at first, i still could handle it, cause i was strong
enough
kept my hope high and forgave those assholes, you have to
know, you’ll get tired of hoping no matter how fucking
strong you were or you are. i was kinda giving up, and i met a
girl, she is the greatest person you will ever meet, and she is
the perfectest friend you’ll ever have, and she became my best
friend, she stood up for me sometimes when she saw those
bullies tryna get me. and those bullies wouldn’t dare to do
anything to her cause, she was one of the most beautiful in our
grade and she still is, boys liked her alot
that.
cicely. but shit didn’t only happen once, it’d follow you to the
end. i was told that my father had cancer when i was 14, my
father was one of the most important people to me, he was
forced to live in the hospital and i couldn’t do anything for him,
at the same time, i almost got raped by a friend of my
father…….lol. but lucky, i ran away and told my mom, she
called the police and they took that man away from me forever.
i never told my father about this, and i never gonna have a
chance to, cause he passed away in 18/2/2012 ( r.i.p the
man i love the most in this world) i was really broken, and i
kinda still am, i fell in a real deep depression and i can not help
it. but my father’s words keeps me hoping for the best. he used
to say "if you are sad, life goes on, if you are happy, life
still goes on, so don’t you be happy if it has no different?”
okay, yanno i’m sort of proud of myself, cause i never self-harm,
i never cut, i never did drugs i never got drunk, even in the
saddest moments, you know, my point is, you don’t have to cut
yourself or hurt your bodies to make the pain go away, the pain
won’t go away even if you cut, and it’ll leave you a scar, so
why bothering cut? stay strong, cause you deserve to be
happy, no matter how disappointed life bring you, you have to
hold on, you have to tell the world that you can deal with all
this stuffs and you're ready for everything good going through
your life, tell others, you are more than this, and you are
enough.
P.S, if you need someone, i’m here, message me anytime. i’m
here to stand by you no matter what. I LOVE YOU BABY.